An incident I remember from school. My class teacher used to give out gifts to the first rank holder in the class after the exam each month. I consistently got the gifts three times. The fourth exam I stood second. The teacher bought two gifts this time, one for the first rank holder and the second one for me. The gifts were alike. The reason she gave was that I had got the first rank most number of times, the gift was for that. I was her favorite and maybe she was a little partial. But I felt awesome. 🙂
I think my major problem is I live in the past. I hold onto memories too tightly. Think of all the good times that were and compare them with the present. Though I am very well aware, with time everything changes. I do a constant comparison and feel disappointed. I pull myself down, which is definitely not the right way to go about things. I aspire do something big, to attain something big, but I am not sure of what. I am fearful of the results. Fear is not a good thing.
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.
Isn’t that a powerful quote? That’s exactly the mistake I am doing right now. Had a bunch of friends around to correct me, appreciate me and guide me too. Miss them terribly now.
I hope I can rebuild myself and write a post of the stuff that I am proud of in myself, sometime soon. One tiny step a time, I need to work towards it.