Spread the cheer!

on

Why does everyone wanna be so critical in life? It appears as if they attain immense pleasure in saying ‘you did it wrong’ or that ‘I told you so!’. I can’t deny the fact that, I have previously used the ‘I told you so’ statement many a time. But from the time I realized that it’s just not what anybody or even I would wanna here, in a situation gone wrong, I have made it a point, not to use those words.

People have this huge urge to correct you every time you make a mistake. They have to tell you, “you know, this is where you went wrong”, “You are still going wrong about 10% of the time”, “Why did you do it this way? It should be done my this way”. On the other hand, rarely do we hear people say, “Hey! you did a great job!”, “Awesome, you are doing good. You got it right 90% of the time.”, “Wow! that’s a new way to do that!”. See the difference?

Why is it so hard to appreciate a person? Every appraisal cycle, almost every employee complains that his manager didn’t give him a good rating. They don’t appreciate him, no matter how hard he works. What they don’t realize is that they do the same thing outside of work, at home with their spouse, children, parents, friends. There the appreciation may not be in the form of remuneration, but it is very valuable!

People hold back their appreciative words or love assuming that it is not a good thing to be expressive. They assume that it will get to the person’s head and there’s a possibility of them undervaluing it. What I read a long time back and I have tried to make it a part of my life is to be appreciative. Pay a compliment to the person, if you like something nice. The best thing about it is, it makes the other person happy. 🙂

How many times have we seen that when a person dies, there are lots of people praising how he/she was such a great being. The same person would have hardly heard this when alive. If he had, wouldn’t it bring him so much happiness?
When somebody pays you a compliment on the way you look, when your boss says you did a good job or when someone appreciates what you wrote, doesn’t that just make you day!!?? Then, pass it on..

If you love a person, tell them that frequently. Congratulate someone on a job well done. Compliment someone about their lovely smile. Tell that the food tastes good, when someone cooks for you. Spread the positivity and cheer. 🙂 You may or may not get another chance!

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Tatsat says:

    I am as innocent as you on the WHY part, but the observation is neat! Some years back, I told my mum,” you do not like it when others are happy while you are not so” and it makes so much sense today. It is as if the negativity travels more easily than the positive feelings ( electrons lighter than protons 😉 ). And it should not be so.

    But being expressive, vis-a-vis positive ideas, has its downsides too. It is as if you tell people constantly that you admire them, then on some level you become dependent on them. Should not be so. But the remedy lies in being quiet and not spreading the negative vibes either. Of course, this is a particular case and an exception- not the generic example. Since you mentioned about “love”, had to slide it in 🙂

    Maybe I am being a little defensive, rather a bit over-defensive. But we both will see in due course of time where this road takes us…

    1. I think as humans we are all dependent on one another, more so on the ones we love. No matter how independent we get in life, there will still be strings that tug at your heart (whether or not you express the love). 🙂

      Also by expressing I don’t mean to be all over the person, telling how much I love them all the time. But telling them in appropriate situations, when something they did touches your heart.

      Maybe I am just being all senti here.. 😛 Which I am most of the times btw. 😉

      1. Tatsat says:

        Haha 🙂 That is fair enough. Some time back, I had this amazing teacher of psychology. Our interaction was only for a couple of months but he taught me a great deal. In one of the discussions we had outside classroom, he told me this,” I start off with the basic assumption that people are good”. 3 years down the line, this seems like an amazing state of mind to aspire to have.

        Somehow, you ring me as a person with such a mind as well… So, maybe our takes will be different on things but you would easily end up being an adorable character for me 🙂

        PS- Now that you have said it, I think I have a habit of going on overdrive. That can’t be a good thing.

        1. wow! thanks for even considering comparing me with someone like that. 🙂

          Relax and just be yourself! 🙂

  2. Mi says:

    that’s the whole problem I say.. Why wait for any one else’s approval to feel good 😉 😉

    1. That’s totally true! 🙂 But that’s from the other person’s point of view.
      What I was talking was about doing something to make the other feel good, whether or not the other expects it.

  3. Mi says:

    Ohh that way! I need to wrk on that 😛

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