Just when you start getting comfortable with the things in life, it throws totally flipping challenges towards you and you are left stranded, with no idea what to do and how to proceed.
Today I have many regrets about the things I have done or the words I have spoken. Now that we have lost Daddy, I feel the pain he must have felt on hearing the rude words from our mouth. I could have handled it better maybe, but now the time and chance is gone. Truly, we don’t realize the value of something, until we lose it.
When a person is alive, we give so much importance to the fights and the not so nice things that happen. It’s only after they are gone, we realize that there were wonderful moments too. The childhood days, when dad took us out every other day, the stuff he got, the places we ate, the movies we saw, the trips we went on every year. The photographs about which he was crazy and were gathering dust at the back of the shelves, now bring back so many beautiful memories.
The reason for me being able to even write this, the fact that I am educated, that I have all the technology at hand is that he toiled hard to educate us, feed us and provide us the best of facilities. Not one day did he stop us from buying any book, pursuing any hobby, as long as we gave equal importance to our studies.
Today, as I write this, I hear the ongoing horrible fight in the neighboring house and it brings back painful memories of the horrid times at our house too. The terrible fights that happened at our home, The ones we saw and grew up and later became a part of. They have definitely moulded our character to a great extent. Not that I am proud of the fights, but I did learn from them.
One thing I have unknowingly inherited from my dad is temper. Though I am more short tempered than he was, I can see glimpses of him in my behavior. The shouting when angry, not listening to anyone and walking off from the place, was something he did too. Not a very great thing to inherit. Another thing is, no matter how big the fight was, he never once held a grudge against anyone. In fact he would have forgotten the whole episode and would be back to talking normally with everyone. That’s how I am too. Sometimes I tend to forget the reason why I was fighting with someone, minutes before. But I do have a short temper and a sharp tongue. Bad combination!
At the moment, we miss you loads Daddy! Though the pain will heal with time and the events will become hazy in our memory, we will always love you and always miss you! Wish you were here and I had a chance to apologize and say all the unsaid stuff! Miss you so much!!