There are a lot of things I faced because of you. I am not supposed to blame you, as you are totally unaware of the events that occurred post your visit to our house. Yet, sadly I have to vent this out on you!
Why am I bringing this up more than a year later? Okay, let’s rewind then. You and your family wanted us to come to your house for seeing you. The proposal had come from your end. We came, met. You were good looking and had a good job. Your family was nice, courteous. But when the chance was given to us, you hardly spoke. You talked about just a couple of things. I kept asking questions and you hardly had anything to say or ask.
We came back home, my family had liked you, but I hadn’t. I wanted to know the person reasonably well, before getting married. The first impression from your end wasn’t great for me. It was a No from my end. But as always, dad saw the obvious, required qualities of a groom and forced me to agree. I didn’t. To make things worse, your family called saying they would like to visit us the following weekend. Now, my parents were behind me to oblige, saying they couldn’t refuse. Maybe I would like you in the second meeting, was their opinion.
You came and went. My opinion didn’t change. But you added me on FB and gave me your email id. I thought we could have some conversations before we take any decision. You not having contacted, and my dad forcing me, I emailed you. Your response was that you needed time to think, before talking to me. But, surprisingly, your family called saying they were okay with the match and that we should go ahead and call the elders of the family and we should talk about the wedding plans and dates.
I came home, heard this and the typical me, flipped. To add ghee to the fire, dad had spoken to a few elders in the family regarding the same, despite knowing that it was a ‘No’ from my end. This led to a huge row, between me and my dad. Huge is a small word. A few blogger friends, here who read my previous blog, know what happened. It was one of the worst days of my life. My already strained relationship with dad, dived into a far pathetic situation.
Thankfully, the sun came out from behind the clouds. I met Bg. Things changed. He spoke nineteen to the dozen, making me feel comfortable. Things worked out fine, we got married, dad seemed relieved, was happy to see his daughter finally settle down.
Few months later you had to come again. In the form of the news that you are getting married to a close relative’s daughter. Also that, them being really poor, you have taken up a great share of the wedding expenses. Kudos, to you! I never said you were a bad guy. I just didn’t see in you, what I wanted in my husband. But on hearing the news, dad was visibly upset that I had refused such a great guy! To top it, my parents had to attend your wedding and I may have to face you some day, in some social gathering.
Let bygones be bygones. But why now, did I have to find those letters written by dad? He has written letters to me, my sis and mom, a day after the fight. He writes that he is leaving the house and that we shouldn’t try to find him. He writes to mom about his bank account details, which she is supposed to use to get me married. He writes to me, wishing me a good future ahead and that I have to mend my ways to live a peaceful life. The worst is what he writes to my sis and BIL. He writes to them to take up the responsibility of my wedding. He writes “you can quote to others that I have passed away due to heart attack, so that they will not mis-construe things and cancel the marriage etc”.
He has later changed his mind and stapled these sheets in the diary. Not sure what made him stop from doing what he wrote. Whatever it is, I am very grateful to it. But exactly a year later, he has passed away. The irony is that, it was a heart attack. All that I am now left with are these letters, the guilt and the thought that maybe I am somewhere the cause for what happened to him. Maybe I worsened his health conditions, giving him all the tension. All I can do now is cry in vain.
May you have a great life ahead. I sincerely hope that you take good care of your wife and that you both live happily, always. But I also wish you hadn’t come in my life. Maybe if we hadn’t met, all this wouldn’t have happened. Well I know, it’s just my thinking. Que Será, Será (Whatever Will Be, Will Be). I just had to write this and let it out of my system. Like I said before, sadly I had to vent it out on you!