My mind – Pandora’s box?

Why I gave this name to my blog was because of the way the mind switched between a million thoughts in a minute! It’s amazing how I would be lost thinking of some thing random and finally when I become aware, I am on a totally different track altogether. Sometimes I even forget what thought triggered off the whole chain. Then I have to do back tracking. πŸ˜›

For instance, I have this habit of singing songs when riding to office (Thankfully my mouth is covered with a scarf and it’s not visible to people, else they would think I am insane, talking to myself!). When doing the same today, I spotted a Ganeshji’s idol in one of the tents they had put up for the festival. My mind automatically switched songs and I started singing a Ganeshji keerthana, I had learnt way back when I did my Junior Carnatic vocal music lessons. I forgot a few lines and was disappointed. My mind switched subjects and started thinking of how I have totally given up something I learnt. I haven’t even kept in touch by practicing. Then I thought about what I have thought about for a long time, joining music classes again. Then I realized I am not being able to make time in the midst of everything.

From this I went to think how things were back then during Ganesha/Gowri festivals and how dad made all arrangements at home. Then it was a replay of all hospital events of dad, things he said, things he asked for etc. Then it was about trying to stop my mind from thinking these thoughts and think about other stuff. That’s when I thought, how did all these thoughts start off? All this in less than a few minutes!

Reading the above process, you would have realized, how confused and overworked my brain is. I use it too much to remember the non essential things that remembering the essentials has become very tough! 😦 Also, my mind has over the time got groomed to thinking negative thoughts. Whenever a situation comes, I end up thinking only about things that can go wrong when there may be numerous things that may go right. When I read positive posts and blogs, I am inspired, but I see that it’s momentary. When I am out from there, dealing with my life, I am back to being who I am. How do I break out of this vicious cycle? How do I change myself? This has become the primary challenge in my life now.


13 Comments Add yours

  1. greenboochi says:

    I could have easily written the last para myself! I think a lot – a lot more than what is required and most of the times I am filled with negative thoughts. I keep thinking of all the problems I have in my life right now – from one problem to another meanwhile thinking of solutions too and those solutions give out new problems and I lose track. Many a times, I try to keep myself positive but thats for a micro second. As soon as something happens, just like you, I too look out for the negatives. I dont know why.

    S, on the other hand is totally different. He is so so so optimistic. Even while in the deepest of problems, he only looks at the positives. For all these years I have known him, I am trying to change myself under his influence, but it isnt so easy. My mind is made to function like this. Sigh.

    Hugs dear!

    1. Arch says:

      Hugs GB! So bad that we both are dealing things the same way. My hubby too is a very positive person and deals with things in a much calmer manner than me. I wish could inculcate this nature of his. I am worried that I will harm his positivity by being so negative all the time. 😦

      1. greenboochi says:

        Exactly my fear! 😦

  2. Archita says:

    It’s just wandering mind , Arch. πŸ™‚ Nothing to change; you worry because you feel protective , that’s not at all negative. πŸ™‚

    1. Arch says:

      I don’t know.. But it really shouldn’t be a constant thing right? Having low self esteem, not being confident and always expecting the worst? I shouldn’t be like that right?

      1. Archita says:

        From your posts , I never get the vibe of lack of confidence , low self esteem , Arch. πŸ™‚ Do not be too harsh on yourself. πŸ™‚ You are amazing just the way you are , friend. πŸ™‚

        1. Arch says:

          you are so sweet πŸ™‚

  3. paatiamma says:

    Am also the same Arch..I simply cannot ward off negativity..I simply imagine the worst of any situation. It kind of engulfs me and in the most inappropriate moments and even makes me cry.I try reading positive blogs and hear music to ward them off..But in vain..Now I have found a temporary solution…The very next moment a negative thought comes through my mind, I tell to myself that it is a negative thought and distract myself with some other useful task at the moment -If at office,by talking to a cubicle mate at office by helping her with what she is doing and like that..Try that..If you have found any innovative solution share with me as well πŸ™‚ Glad that your partner is positive..Light always wins over the dark..Am glad I found you!!Seems like a old friend..

    1. Arch says:

      Oh my! I don’t seem to be the only one. 😦
      I am so glad you shared your experience and suggestions here. It will help me deal with mine.

      You know, I have read a LOT of articles, blogs and websites regarding this topic and most of them actually suggest what you are trying to do, to ward off the negative thoughts as soon as they creep up in your mind. It’s reaaally tough for me. 😦 But will try harder after hearing that it’s helping you.

      Off late what I try doing is writing out what I feel into a small diary. It makes me feel better. Also I have noticed that if I am neck deep in work then such thoughts stay away. πŸ˜› Like they rightly say “An empty mind is a devil’s workshop”.

  4. Mi says:

    if you come to know…lemme know abt it! πŸ™‚

    1. Arch says:

      Hey! You guys here are supposed to give me suggestions. 😦

  5. Mi says:

    lol!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ we sail in the same boat, darling!

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