If you had held on, we would be celebrating your 60th birthday today! We would have had that Shashtipoorthi function that I was planning from the time you turned 59. I wanted to do something for you, in some way to show that I love you, despite fighting with you so much. I wanted you and everyone to have the best time, celebrating the day.
I had discussed it with sis and told her that we should start saving up separately for this. I want it to be a decent function. We had planned to book the hall some time in August, so we have ample time and there will be no last minute unavailability. But you had other plans.
All your life, you always said that you didn’t depend on anyone, didn’t expect any favors. You didn’t need anyone’s monetary help to lead your life. I felt you would have thought of our expenditure for the function too as the same kind, which is why me and sis kept the whole thing secret. So secret that we didn’t even share it with mom, for the fear that she would tell you. But it was the gravest mistake to do. We should have shared our plans! You would have been elated! Looking forward to today may have helped you fight harder on that fateful day.
You wanted the 60 number on your Aadhar card too didn’t you? Mom told us that you were planning to apply for the Aadhar card after you became a Senior Citizen. I wish you had got that chance.
You wanted to buy a new two-wheeler, you wanted to visit Tirupathi after my wedding, you wanted the whole family to meet on the last Sunday of every month. Thanks to that plan of yours, we all visited the Bangalore beauties – Cubbon Park, Lalbagh Botanical Gardens and Krishna Rao Park after a long long time. You had so many plans and were raring to go! Then what happened?? Why did you lose that spirit on that day? If only, the hospitals allowed the family be near a patient in the ICU too, you wouldn’t have felt lonely in the struggle to survive maybe.
Well… all that I am left with now is the If. It doesn’t help. I can’t help thinking of what could have been, but what is. There is not a day that goes without remembering you. All I could do today was to visit a Balaji temple and have a small pooja done, as you would have done too. I prayed to him to keep you safe and happy wherever you are! I miss you so much Daddy!!