Mixed Bag – III

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The longer you stay away from writing, the harder it gets to write something. True with most other cases too. I wonder how many innumerable times I have felt like writing and sat down but something comes up – we need to go somewhere, some chore to finish, some call to make and I just leave it! But most times I find it hard to write anything. Everything seems incoherent.ย To try and make things coherent, I will pick the easiest way out, bullet-ed post!

โ†’ What I have been upto? Actually nothing! Remember the client interview I wrote about? The one I was scared about, the one I kept fervently preparing/praying for? No prizes for guessing! Yeah! I didn’t get through. Actually there was not one, but two interviews, for two different projects. The first one according to me, went off great. It went on for more than an hour and half and I answered more than 90% of the questions, something I hadn’t expected from myself. But the interviewer chose to look at only the stuff I couldn’t answer. Also they came back telling me that the position they were looking for, required the candidate to have double my experience (Why the hell did you call me in the first place then??) ๐Ÿ˜ฎ . He goes on to say, the numbers in experience doesn’t make much of a difference. (Oh! Really??) ๐Ÿ˜ก

The second interview was crazy! The interviewer asked most questions in comparison of two technologies – one that I work on now and one I worked on 4 years back. I really didn’t remember the details of the stuff from the previous technology. Not having been able to answer those questions fully, my confidence went for a dive and the rest of the interview was a disaster too. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

As a result of it, I didn’t clear either of the interviews and I am still sitting without a project. Every passing day looks gloomier and it has became a herculean task to pull myself up to do anything!

โ†’ On the other hand, what I have been doing too much is, reading. That too like crazy! The loneliness at work and all the gloom I have got myself into, eats me up. So to keep myself occupied, I read. I read books during travel to and from the office. I finished close to six books in a month! Something I had never done before. At other times, during work timings, since I am not into any project, I keep reading some technical stuff. When I get bored and during the lonely lunches, I start reading blog posts and articles on other websites, on the phone! Am I an expert or what – at overdoing things and killing the joy in it! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

โ†’ย The only best part during the recent few days, was a close friend’s wedding at Chennai. I went back to Chennai, after a whole year. I met my friends, roamed around with them in the familiar places and attended the reception. My friend, looked like a pretty doll in the Reception. ๐Ÿ™‚ It was so much fun to be with all of them. But we ( yeah, Bg came too ) had to come back in just 2 days. Did I tell, that my best friend stays in Chennai and no amount of coaxing makes him want to move to Bangalore? Monkey! ๐Ÿ˜•

โ†’ย I have been putting down all the junk in my head into the diary. Maybe I will have to do another post, picking up stuff from there, to make myself write here. ๐Ÿ˜

โ†’ย I have become an extremely irritable person. With less patience and even lesser sleep and the long hours of travel adding to my frustration, I am like this person who just needs a reason to snap at someone. I snap, shout, scold, speak rudely to Bg, my mom, my sis, my nephew, pretty much everyone. The in-laws are spared, as I don’t want to start an argument with them, coz I know it will go on forever. Those stories I will write another time. Hey, I am getting a lot of material that I can blog about! Well… coming back to the original point, do I at least feel good or light after all the venting out of my frustration? No! I feel worse, now filled with guilt that I am such a horrible person.

That’s what I have been up to. What about you guysย (If there’s anyone still left around here, who come to check my posts.)??

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. Titaxy says:

    interview – it’s ok arch. there will be other better ones.

    six books in one month? that’s awesome. i used to do that, but for some reason reading has taken a back seat since the new year started. i need to get that on track immediately.

    1. Arch says:

      Better ones or not only time will tell. All I can do now is wait…

  2. Mi says:

    Ohh don’t you worry at all about interviews.. Its’ tough to believe now, but “everything happens for a reason”… you’ll get better projects don’t worry!
    I can relate to the irritability and frustration and all. I have been through that phase and I would also sit and finish 7-8 books in a month! Reading helps you divert your mind from reality. I have been reading this japanese writer lately named Haruki Marukami. He is good.. I like his books..

    Commuting to work sometimes can be difficult and boring too! I hope you find some pass time for that duration. More so, some refreshment after a long travel!

    I come and check your blog everyday! so you do have readers.. that header pic update was a pleasant change! ๐Ÿ™‚ but posts are good…

    Keep writing!

    1. Arch says:

      That is what I am trying to tell myself.. Ki jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai..

      Haruki Marukami.. The name sounds familiar but I don’t remember reading any book.. :-/

      So sweet of you to come and check everyday. I really want myself to write more too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. greenboochi says:

    Arch.. this too would pass on. I am sure you will land in a project soon. Bad of that guy to look at what you didnt know than to look at how well you were with the stuff you know. Its ok, really.

    You are still having lonely lunches? Why ๐Ÿ˜

    Look at the positives.. you read 6 books in a month?! Thats awesome!!! With reading you can never be bored.. so you are killing it by overdoing ๐Ÿ™‚

    Irritation and frustration I totally understand. Been there too. Dont you feel guilty. You are a very very nice person ๐Ÿ™‚ People close to you know that already and thats the reason they put up with us too ๐Ÿ™‚

    hugs ok? take care. write more.

    1. Arch says:

      Lonely lunches coz no project,no team, no friends. Also I find it extremely hard to talk to strangers.. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

      You are so sweet GB. I am lucky to have you guys around here. Hugs!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Monkey Mind says:

    First of all hugs, hugs and more hugs Arch dear!

    I am sure you ll write a happy post about getting into a new project soon. Just keep your chin up till then. It is hard, but try. Really. ๐Ÿ™‚

    6 books in a month! Whoa! Great going Arch. At least books are helping you to get the time ticking away faster ๐Ÿ™‚

    You have fans. I often come to your blog and roam around aimlessly hoping you ll post soon. Vent it all out here and feel lighter ๐Ÿ™‚

    Btw, it is totally okay to feel irritated and bugged now arch. It is a tough time for you now and loved ones will understand what you are going through too. Don’t ya feel guilty ok? A big hug Arch.

    Take care! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Arch says:

      Thanks MM for the sweet comment! I am so glad to have you people around here. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Even I feel that some better client is waiting for you, so do not worry about these interviews. And yes reading books helps me a lot when I am not feeling good. I usually like fantasy as it takes me to a completely different world.

    1. Arch says:

      I really hope that it is that way and I get a better project soon… Thanks AK for the comment! ๐Ÿ™‚

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