So Mi’s post on what kind of mom she will be, had me thinking. In fact this is something that I have been thinking about for some days now. Ahem! Let me clarify, there is no good news as of now. I am not having any babies any soon. 😛 But so many of my friends around me are! One is due soon, end of Feb, one in March and one in July. 😮
Seeing all of them, I keep wondering am I even prepared for anything like that? But that doesn’t stop people from giving us hints and blessings that we should be having a baby soon. 😐 Well.. all this keeps making me think that when my time comes, what kind of mom will I be?
For a lot of years, I had this feeling that my mom never spent enough time us! She is a working woman and she joined work when I was 2 years old. She has been working for 25 years now! So basically, when we came home from school, nobody used to be there and we needed to open the lock ourselves, heat up the milk, drink up, study etc. till our parents returned. For a few years we used to go upstairs to our Uncle’s house, but when we realized that our aunt used to crib and grumble that we go there exactly during coffee and snack times, we stopped that. Hence I always thought that when I have a kid I will make sure I am there for it… you know.. in the sense, give it warm food and be there when it comes home etc.
But as I grew up and started working myself, I realized why our mom did what she did. She had to support my dad financially to educate us both, to get everything done for us, like the jewelry and stuff and also get us married. She was such strong pillar of support. So now, I am not so sure if I will quit my job and be at home so easily. I am still unsure of what I will or I should do. 😐
My mom never used to beat us, she pinched us. 😛 I always complain to my mom even now, telling her how horrible her pinches used to be. But more than that what I used to fear, was her glaring eyes. I have those fear inducing eyes too.. Hehehehe 😀 . I have noticed over the years that a lot of people, including friends, kids and Bg are scared and subdued when I glare at them with anger. I don’t need to speak, I just glare. So I am hoping that will work at times when I need to be strict. I don’t want to be a mom who beats her child! 😦
Why I doubt myself about the not-beating thing is that I am impatient! Sometimes so much that I can’t always repeat a thing twice, I can’t see tasks still left undone after repeated reminders. I flip! With Bg’s nephew who is so cranky and misbehaving at most times (there is big post pending on that) there are many instances when I am on the verge of beating him. I stop myself though. Also I am not sure his parents will take it well. That is why I am scared, I will end up beating my kid! 😥
I want to be able to tell my child lots of stories. I remember our childhood when my dad and grandpa used to tell us stories. I want to tell them our mythological tales too. Something that the kids of this generation don’t have easy access to learn. But there are so many stories that I have myself forgotten or remember in bit and pieces. So I wonder what will I pass onto them?
I want to make them read lots of books. Not one person in Bg’s house is interested in books. I am pretty sure even if I read aloud something to Bg he wouldn’t be interested in listening. His vocabulary is so limited. Not that I have a great vocabulary, there is a tremendous scope of improvement, but I think I can manage a decent conversation without repeating too many words. I want them to develop an interest for reading and build their vocabulary.
I want to be their friend and confidant. There were lots of times in my childhood when we feared our parents (esp dad) so much that we used to not tell them many things. We siblings used to talk and discuss almost everything but not share with our parents. I want my child to be able to speak to me about everything – his/her friends, fights, crushes, heartbreaks, career aims, work. I want to be supportive at all phases of his/her life and help them take their decisions whenever they need to.
But when time comes I want to let them free to live a life of their own. I don’t want them to ever think that their parents are a burden to them. I want Bg and me to be financially and physically independent in our old age as well.
These things and there are so many more! But am I ready for it? Is anyone ever ready for it? Bg says when time comes we will learn to manage things naturally. Maybe that’s the truth. Like they say – Necessity is the mother of all invention. Maybe we will come up with our own ways to manage everything and raise our child/children. 🙂