… seem a lot more closer now. Is it bad that it is that way? It’s not in the sense that I do what I want and since you are not here, I assume that you would agree with what I do. Though that happens some times, there are a lot of other times, that I think, what you would say and behave accordingly. I think about what all you had told, time and again, and I try to follow things you had told.
I know I used to disagree a lot back then, but you see, I was of that age. I was naive, I was stubborn and I felt you forced things on us. But every individual goes through that, at that kinda age. Every one has to go through the phases, then come over to the next phase and then realize that they were wrong about certain things and rectify it, from then on. I could have handled it better though. If had developed the amount of patience I have right now, back then, things would have been way smoother. Wouldn’t it? But then, maybe some times, you could have been understanding too, isn’t it?
You are now seem to me like an all encompassing force, you know, like God? Who listens to you patiently and then lets you take the right decision. Maybe I feel that because you are there, with him. But then, I don’t feel that distance. I feel you are close and with every conversation I have with you, be it anywhere; in my mind, in the diary, on the blog, I get closer to you. All that I wanted back then too, was for you to listen to me. Sadly I was unsuccessful in conveying that to you.
Whenever I see your photo, I get this urge to go and touch it, makes me feel like I will touch you. That sensation, which I felt almost a year back. But it makes me weak. So I try avoiding looking at your photo everyday. I hope you are not angry at me for that. But these conversations between you and me, these make me stronger. They make me take things head on. They make me juggle all the things in life, with the confidence that I won’t drop any!
Daddy, you may be gone… But You and I, and our bond is not over yet!