Time and again my thoughts keep revolving around the fact that in all these years I haven’t been able to identify what is it that I am passionate about? What is it for which I can stay awake all through the night and work for and not feel tired or worn out?
True that I am interested in a wide variety of things. I love learning something new and exploring unknown avenues, but what is it that I can do all my life and not be bored with. That is something that I haven’t been able to figure out even till today.
So many people, far younger than me, have a clearer vision, a plan chalked out in life and work diligently towards it. My cousins, much younger than me, were sure about doing further studies, the choice of subject and everything. They actually pursued that too. I on the other hand wasn’t very confident about doing a PG when I finished my studies. Now I have this weird desire to attain a PG, even if it is in correspondence. As with everything, I just can’t decide on it. I don’t want the subject to be anything related to Computers, which is what I did my UG in. Arts or literature is what draws me. But I have no clarity. 😦
I am sure, it is not IT that I want to be in, all life long. I know am creative, and have acquired various skills over time. But I don’t know how to turn it into a profession. My attempts haven’t grown beyond a tiny, irregular venture. There are always other things that have come up in between and I had to sideline it.
Only thing that I am proud of is that no matter what I pick up, I give it my best. In the short or long period that I am associated with it, I am totally dedicated and do the best. Never for once have I let my creative venture attempts or thoughts affect my work at office. Every workplace that I have been associated with, I have carried out my responsibilities in the best possible way and attained appreciation for it.
There is still this little voice that piques up from time to time, telling me I am cut out for something else. I wish it could also tell me what it is. 😐