Musings of a confused mind


I am in a weird phase. It’s been close to two months, since I am back in office. Unfortunately I haven’t found a project yet. I am not one of the people who enjoys being work-less. Work keeps my mind off unwanted things. People keep telling me that it’s a blessing in disguise and how I should be thankful that I am not working in an overburdened role just after my maternity leave; how it gives me better time with my child etc. Maybe it is, but I am bored and depressed.

I keep trying to think of the positive side to the whole situation and yet my mind keeps reminding me of the negative ones too. Just because I couldn’t sit idle, whiling away my time, I decided to look for other jobs outside and guess what, I haven’t got any calls! It is so irritating. I can’t be at home, spending time with my baby either. I have to be at office for the due hours.

My colleagues suggest I go back to my old project. I chose not to do that because I had put in a lot of hard work during my tenure there. Worked even with broken ribs, during my pregnancy. However my effort was never appreciated. Though the management has now changed, going back there I will have to anyway prove my worth all over again. I felt I could do that elsewhere too. Am I wrong?

I am too confused. I am bad at decision taking. I keep going back and forth over the options a zillion times and yet never come to any conclusion. It is really taxing. All I want is some peace of mind. Haha! That’s something everyone wants, isn’t it? 😀

Well… All this time on bench made me do a lot of other stuff, like take up a learning course and complete its project, which I had mentioned in my previous post. Think and put together my list of “Things to do before turning 35”. Actively browse on what patterns I want to knit next. 😛 Make list of all the books I want to read and look if it’s available in JustBooks.

Another downside to this available time is that my coffee/tea consumption and chocolate hogging has suddenly gone up. These were something that I had consciously brought under control. 😦

I really hope I find something appropriate soon.


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