When I find notes like these, which I’ve written to myself. These show I got through whatever was bothering me at that moment –
Come on! It’s okay! It’s just the first day. You need a lead to proceed on. It will come with time. Things get clearer as you work on them. You can’t take things to your heart and let it affect you so much! It’s all about your attitude. You know how the first day was at A, at B and everywhere else right? Then why do you worry? You paved your path there, you succeeded there. You can do it here too. Give yourself time and some credit. Don’t doubt yourself, because when you do, you falter. Pick only one thing at a time. Don’t
be overwhelmed by the enormity of the whole thing. Break bigger things into smaller tasks. Go back to your blog and your diary. Read what you have written on the first day at A, on the first day in B. You will see it’s similar. Yet, you made it till here, didn’t you?
Arch, brace yourself! The ride’s gonna be tough, it’s gonna be rough. But like you yourself tell “At the end of something difficult, lies something really beautiful!”. Remember Agumbe, Barkana View Point? Wasn’t it beautiful? Wasn’t it worth all the pain of walking? Didn’t you tell BG that it is gonna be beautiful? Stop being a sissy and stop getting teary already! There’s enough time for that! 🙂
Cheers to Arch! 🙂
Another one –
I thought it will be easier to settle here coz D was there. But she has changed too. That is expected, isn’t it? Her role and responsibilities have changed. Her priorities will also have changed. I hate having this feeling every now and then. I want to settle in a nice place with some awesome friends. Or probably just quit all this and do something solid of my own. The baby steps have been really slow till now. I will need to accelerate. But there are so many things in my bucket right now that it seems impossible. Also I can’t focus when I am disturbed.
Here I see D in a different avatar. She bosses around, asks status, commands over people etc. It’s weird. She was on the same level as I was a couple of months back. How I wish things wouldn’t change so drastically and so soon! It’s tough to digest. But then, this was my choice. I need to accept the full consequences of my doings.